Dust off those strappy sandals and pink taffeta gown, because prom isn’t just for kids anymore. One Seattle mom is giving all moms a chance to redo prom without all the drama of our teen years. Seattle Mom Prom is the prom you always wanted; great tunes, good friends, and no waiting around for someone to ask you.
Can you imagine if your partner said, "put on your shoes" ten times before you left the house? Is there any reason to listen to the first nine times? By the tenth time, you might be ready to throw your shoes out the door and tell your partner to go by themselves!
And yet, with our kids, we yell orders from the other room and wonder why our demands are not met. We repeat them again and again, ramping up our own anger and frustration.
They ignore us and we keep demanding.
I am not a big fan of new year’s resolutions. We come up with a list of things to do better, to be better, to spend less, and lose more. We think about all of the things we don’t like about ourselves and decide January first is the day to make all of these changes at once. Both my professional background and my life experience have taught me this is an ideal recipe for failure.
Many of us can’t wait for the holidays. We imagine lazing around with family, drinking hot cocoa and kids content to play all day, needing nothing but their new toys. In reality, we often find ourselves frantically finishing holiday shopping while wrapping up work projects before the kids are out of school for two weeks. Not to mention packing for travel or rearranging the house to accommodate in-laws. Alas, it seems that sometimes our fantasy does not align with reality.
You survived the newborn days, and life with baby is rolling along smoothly. They are full of belly laughs, find delight in just about everything, and their biggest complaints are easily whisked away with a clean diaper, a snuggle, and some milk. As you push your easy-going babe in the swing at the park, you notice the toddler hitting her mom and think, “Wow, what’s wrong with that devil child? Glad it’s not mine.”
I remember my first Mother’s Day. My oldest was weeks from coming out and joining the world. Oh, I recall those feeling of joy, hope and wonder for what my husband and I had created! I’d finally gained admittance to a coveted society of elders, joining the long line of ancestors, no longer the last link in the chain. Yes, I was very pregnant, but my baby was inside with no little wants and needs except for stripping me of my own comfort. I envisioned a lifetime of days like these when I would be celebrated and expected to do nothing but relax and bask in the glow of my new role. I could get used to this Mother’s Day thing!
I can think of no better time of year to revisit the concept of “good enough” parenting! With summer upon us, I am struck again by the disconnect between the kind of parent I wish I were and the kind that I actually am. My mythical ideal parent has her kids with her all day the whole summer enjoying inventive and educational opportunities as we bask in each other’s company without the distractions of technology or sweet treats (in this version, my kids don’t even ask for these things because they are outside playing in the woods and reading fortifying literature). In reality, I am the kind of mom who adores her children and needs a break from them. I love having summer time adventures together and I love for them to have their own independent adventures and for me to have mine as well.
Back in 2005, author Ayelet Waldman proclaimed boldly that she loved her husband more than she loved her children in a New York Times article. This announcement seemed to strike a nerve, with quick reactions in the media that she must be an unfit mother and shouldn’t have had children to begin with. Waldman remained undeterred, however, and stated that the best foundation she could give her children was a strong partnership with their father. Whether you share Ms. Waldman’s feelings or not, she can be applauded for beginning a conversation and for shaking up our expectations of what kind of partnerships best serve both parents and children.
We approached the edge of the Grand Canyon slowly, eyes looking down at our feet and the ground immediately in front of us. When we got to the solid metal fence, we looked up and at once the grandeur and immensity of the canyon affected us. “Oh, my,” my six-year-old daughter called out. I glanced over at my nine-year-old son to see his mouth opened wide in wonder. My eyes filled with tears, not only at the beauty I was witnessing but at the real gift of sharing this moment with my children. This, I thought, is the reason we travel as a family. We are taken out of our everyday routine and get to have new experiences with those we love most in the world.
Wondering how to be a role model for your child? Surprise! You already are. All parents are the most significant role models our children will have in life. The choice is up to us as to what kind of role model we would like to be. They are always watching us, whether we are aware of it our not. They are storing away our responses as clues to how they should respond when in a similar situation.
For those of you who are regular readers of my blog, I'm sure you are aware brevity is not my forte. In fact, some of my posts are so long I’ve been asked if they are actually novels in disguise.
When it comes to communicating with children though, grownups often make the mistake of doing too much talking. In trying to get our point across, and be understood, we tend to go on in our rationalizing, lecturing, and explaining, hoping they will finally see our point and agree we are right.
Guilt may very well be a universal part of the human experience, and is often compounded and heightened after becoming a parent. Suddenly, you are entrusted with the absolute care of another human being, while continuing to balance all the other aspects of your life from before becoming a parent. It can feel impossible at times to succeed at all the varied roles you must take on during a given day—as a parent, a spouse or partner, child, sibling, friend, and co-worker.
An Ideal Parent?
A model of an ideal parent has developed in many of our minds that is based on extreme self-sacrifice and self-denial. This mother or father consistently buries his or her own needs in order to satisfy those of his or her children. This parent smiles cheerfully while anticipating every need her child expresses, while letting her own joy and pleasure in life go unexplored. I’m not sure where this model came from, but I think it’s time for each of us to ensure that we are not buying into it
In this activity, students learn the 3 R's of recovering from mistakes. They previously discussed that mistakes are learning opportunity. Now, the focus shifts to understanding that making the mistake is less important than what we choose to do about them.